Life in Vanuatu

Bislama is the local language in Vanuatu which, to most of us, is pigeon English. Semi easy to understand but can make you sound like a total moron trying to speak it. My team at the hotel are very passionate about teaching me their language and as eager as I am to learn, I stipulated only one rule from the beginning – teach me the naughty words first and then we’ll get to actual conversation.

Most, actually all come to think of it, of my team members didn’t speak a swear word during my first couple of months that I can recall. But after having worked with me now for almost 10 months I hear the occasional S & F word slip up. For a very religious country I’m shocked every time I hear it. Some of my girls blame me for the casual use of the word. Needless to say I haven’t made much progress learning the language.

So if I can’t get my ‘proper’ language lessons from my Ni-Vanuatu staff I’m now forced to turn to my expatriate friends to teach me. And what better place to learn then at the Voodoo Bar (local nightclub) over a few G & Ts? Now I’m going to keep this blog relatively swear word free but I feel it necessary, educational and highly amusing to share a small sample of what I have learnt so far with you all. Remember - I learn't this while sitting at the bar. And no, before you ask, I do not use these as conversation starters.

Toilet – Mi blong piss piss

Condom - rubber blong fuk fuk

Sex – Mi wantem sex

Helicopter – egg beater blong Jesus Christ

And my most used phrase – mi no save (sa-ve) – I don’t know

Port Vila is not what you would call a booming metropolis so eventually you start seeing the same people each weekend at the same parties or events whether you want to or not. I’ve got a couple of different groups of friends which serves as a nice mix during my days and weeks.

 I’ve got my dive crew. These guys have been a laugh a minute from day one. A mixture of Aussie, Kiwi, American and British, they put up with my ridiculous blonde moments at 7.15am each Sunday morning when really, I should still be in bed not trying to put together my dive gear. The owners of the dive shop have taken me in as one of their own and each new instructor gets introduced to me as if I were part of the operational team and someone they need to know and get along with to survive their stint in this town. One instructor became one of my best mates and she has recently left this diver’s haven and returned to Australia’s 8^th state. Seeing her is my first trip in 2011!

There is my beach and wine buddy. This Aussie girl has been here over 2 years and has a new ‘Vanuatu experience’ story to tell each week. She told me the other day that on one routine weekend morning she stopped off at her regular place to pick up a take away coffee. After arriving home she began drinking her coffee only to be confronted with a citrus tasting Latte. Thinking she was loosing her mind she took another swig. Nope, she decided it was not right so she threw it away. On her next trip to the coffee shop she enquired about the last coffee she received (she’s there every week so they know her like one of the family). She was informed that a piece of lemon accidentally ended up in the milk jug, heated and then mixed with the coffee. The question here is – how did lemon end up in the milk jug and then heated and not noticed?? Well all we can say to this (and many other situations like this) is that ‘It’s Vanuatu!’

And then there is the social butterfly of this town. She has lived here for most of her life and because of this you can’t walk down the street with her without someone recognizing her and waving hello. Actually I can’t seem to walk down the street without being recognized either but this not because I am some Vanuatu socialite but solely due to the friendly nature of the Ni-Vanuatu.

The August earthquake would have to be one of the highlights for me this year so far. Now I can hear you all asking – Is she crazy?? Very possibly but not in this case. I refer not to the aftermath (obviously) but the experience of the quake itself. Imagine yourself on a boat with the waves swaying you from side to side making you loose your balance. This is the only way I can describe this act of Mother Nature. I could literally feel the ground beneath my feet ripple and making those of us who bolted from the building look like drunks trying to stagger home after a big night on the town. I have had previous experience in this look and perfected it quite well.

Like any worthy tropical destination, the activities here include drinking, eating then drinking some more. My drinking escapades have taken me to a variety of places with a number of different people. I found myself at a schoolies foam party the other week surrounded by school leavers dancing up a storm. I was at first hesitant to join in but after a long list of Top 40 countdown songs played, some karaoke from the sidelines and a couple more drinks, I was up pulling some moves while trying desperately not to fall on my butt in the foam bath dance floor. I’ve been to some amazing houses and mansions, lazing on their beach front access drinking whatever came out of the alcohol cupboard. And I’ve also found myself sitting on an amazing wooden deck that overlooks the entire town of Port Vila surrounded by an amazing lightning show over a couple of bottles of wine.

The owner of the Voodoo Bar organizes musical entertainment from Oz or NZ every 6-8 weeks. The setting for these gigs have a picturesque view of Port Vila, the Sunday afternoon sun and about 30 bar staff to make sure your glass is never empty. A couple of weeks ago I went and watched Darryl Braithwaite and I was surprised at how many songs of his I knew. I’ve also seen Vika and Linda and Ross Wilson. Yeah I’ll admit I hadn’t heard of the last two before but I found myself up on the dance floor regardless having a good boogie with my mates. It was very entertaining and drew a good crowd. (the entertainers not our dance moves) What I am looking forward to is Shannon Noll in 2011.

Who said Vanuatu was a dull place to live? Not me that’s for sure!