Part 1: The Journey

If someone asked me ‘Do you think you’re an impulsive person?’ my initial reaction would be mixed. I’ve always considered myself to be a bit of a planner and organiser but I’m also a little partial to some last minute fun too. But my latest world adventure has proved me to be so absolutely incorrect that if I were now to be asked that question my answer would be a definite ‘Hell Yes’.

Looking back on how this adventure started makes me laugh. It was one fine & sunny afternoon at my local pub catching up with a friend talking about the trip he was about to embark on. It sounded amazing. He had lived in Cyprus before so he knew what to expect and was eager to catch up with friends. As I listened to his plans my feet began to itch. That travel bug inside of me, the one I hadn’t really indulged in for 18 months since my trip to USA & UK, was getting to me. My thoughts must have shown on my face because 2 drinks later I had agreed to tag along. Impulsive step #1.

Only thing to possibly derail my plans was work. Luckily my manager was happy to let me have some time off over our quiet time and my leave was approved almost instantly. My friend Scott, who was now my confirmed travel partner, came over sometime later to confirm all of our flights. We both had 2 weeks off for this overseas trip while I was able to snag another week off to surprise my parents on the farm. Sitting at the computer searching flight options we discussed all our options. Eventually, within the space of an hour and a half, we had decided to travel to Cyprus, then head to Athens, off to Istanbul next and finish with a little retail therapy in Dubai. With our flights all booked and our accommodation confirmed before we knew it we had just planned a fast paced but exciting trip that held no resemblance to the original plan. Impulsive step #2.

I was leaving Port Vila after work Saturday afternoon. To capitalise on every second of leave I had I planned to fly with no rest stopovers all the way to Cyprus. I was extremely excited and was rushing to pack just before my pick up arrived at the hotel. The night before it occurred to me to double check what the weather was like at all of my destinations. I found out that I had temperatures on this trip from 25 – 9 degrees to dress for and living on a tropical island didn’t give a lot of inspiration on how I would handle 9 degrees. In the end I closed my bag and hoped for the best. Impulsive step #3.

My flight to Brisbane was non eventful and I transferred to the International Terminal and waited to meet up with Scott who had arrived a couple of days before. After all the custom and x-ray checks were done we went to the gate and waited for our departure. We had secured two isle seats opposite each other which I was happy with. At least one of us didn’t have to climb over the other to get out when needed. Someone was looking out for me because the middle seat next to me was vacant thus giving me and the guy at the window some extra space which came in handy on our 14 hour flight.

I am one of these people that hate to talk on a plane flight. I will do the customary and polite hello when we are first seated but after that I have no interest in discovering all life's secrets about my neighbour. Thankfully Mr window seat obviously felt the same way for he fell asleep before takeoff. A little over 14 hours later we landed in Dubai. We were taxing to the terminal when low and behold Mr window seat decided to make conversation. He wanted to know where I was from, what I’m doing in Dubai and without any queues from me he felt the need to tell me everything about himself too. I can confirm he was from Sydney but any other details were lost on me. After almost 21 hours of straight travel thus far, this was the last conversation I wanted to have. But I was warm and friendly as ever and Mr window seat seemed happy enough. For the purpose of this trip he was later dubbed my Sydney boyfriend.

Our stopover in Dubai was the start of many more eventful adventures to come. Scott needed a business centre to print some documents. After following the signs we ended up in what was an airport hotel. Long corridor after long corridor I was that tired that I had no idea where we were going. Eventually we found it but only after seeing the day spa, gym and lift lobby area more times than really necessary. Thankfully we made it to the gate and then we were off! This time around I got the window and Scott got the isle. It was not a problem as I was asleep before we even left the gate. Sometime later I awoke from my nap to find we were still on the tarmac. Feeling confused I was sure I hadn’t missed the entire flight. I turned to Scott who told me we were delayed and were still on the tarmac in Dubai.

So after what has to be a record flying time of over 30 hours straight I finally reached our first destination – Larnaka, Cyprus. It was here that I took advantage of my Italian heritage with pride and used my Italian passport to get Scott into the European Union customs line which was a hell of a lot quicker than the other lines. For the next two weeks that passport was my saving grace for quick lines and no visa fees. 

My luggage came through almost straight away but Scott’s took forever. His friend was waiting out the front for us and as our plane was delayed over an hour meant he was now running on a tight schedule. I told Scott to tell his mate to look for me and I’ll go meet him in the arrivals hall. After previously dissecting my appearance earlier on the flight – black hair, black shoes, black pants, black cardigan – I was sure he was going to say ‘Just look out for the Goth Girl’. As it was his friend waved to me and all was ok.

Finally making it to the car all I could think about was a nice hot shower and a change of clothes. As we drove through the country side it finally dawned on me that I was in fact on the other side of the world. While Scott and his mate were busy catching up on lost time, I was in the back seat feeling somewhat like a dog whom couldn’t get their head outside the car window far enough to see. Random ruins started to appear next to the freeway as we drove and I was in my element while all the while Scott’s friend started to give me a run down on his life in Cyprus. Finally we made it home. I was so happy to finally be there, so delirious from my journey and so smelly from not showering I almost cried.

After a mandatory shower I forwent the obvious need to sleep and embarked on the journey of the year. What would become of this trip would be an eye opening experience and one that would result in lifelong friends, hilarious stories and amazing memories.

Next instalment – Part 2: The Cyprus Adventure.

The ladies reunion

Someone once said that friendship isn’t about being inseparable. It’s about being separated and nothing changes. That’s so very true for my latest visitors. This time around it wasn’t me on a world adventure it was two of my ladies discovering a new place and catching up with me when they weren’t sitting poolside with a cocktail or wrestling with starfish trying to get a piece of the shallow lagoon. Here is their story -  Mel & Mar do Vanuatu...

A little on the ladies....

We all met in 2005 and there were 5 of us. All working in the same department at a hotel in Melbourne, a department of about 20 never stood a chance with the 5 of us. It was an amazing year running a muck, taking trips away and growing up together. During our time together one of us brought a beautiful little girl into the world, another got deported back to Russia (just kidding she left on her own accord), we went horse riding and I laugh out loud each time I think about it and who can forget the famous camel toe picture from our roadie together. And thanks to a great show called Little Britian we became the self named ‘ladies’.

So back in Port Vila, sitting in the International terminal at Bauerfield Airport at midnight, I patiently wait for my arrivals. Thinking through the good times and anticipating the next couple of days I was excited. They finally exit customs and I the surprise the hell out of them by picking them up at this late hour. A couple of squeals and big hugs later we leave the airport and head off for the resort. And that’s how quick it took to go back 6 years to where it all began.

As I was working for the majority of their stay the ladies took full advantage of the pool, cocktail service, beach and lagoon. Cut to the night after their arrival and we head into town for a mates farewell bash. A bottle of wine later, meeting a lot of Vila friends and a shot or 5 of tequila for the boys, our host passes out in his own restaurant lying flat on his back across 3 chairs. So what happens next? Well someone finds a permanent marker and we (some more than others) go to work on our blank canvas for our best Picasso piece yet. He never saw it coming poor bugger. Unfortunately I don’t have any pics to share but the end result was absolutely hilarious and made 10 times funnier by the fact that a friend took him out on the town with all that crap on his face. What a farewell to Vila!

The ladies however ventured into a little place I like to call Voodoo. I’ve talked about this place before and truth be known for a Thursday it was a little quite but that didn’t stop us from tearing it up on the dance floor (mostly by ourselves) and having a great time. Mar got right into the stripper pole action which was pretty impressive!

Friday night I took the girls to fire dancing and then one of my favourite places here – War Horse Saloon Bar. The owner Don is pretty nifty at cards but we won one round of tricks and scored a free drink each. Add to that some beef ribs, ¾ of a chicken, more cocktails, 2 dogs, an oversize pig, a cat ringing a bell on the bar and a Lionel Ritchie obsessed Ni-Vanuatu band and you’ve got a typical night out at the Saloon Bar.

We headed out of town on Saturday afternoon for a late lunch and time on the beach. This was the first real time I had to spent with the girls and it was so nice walking along the beach, collecting gorgeous shells and catching up on each other’s lives. A quick change at home and Saturday night brought more fun and laughs at dinner with some more expat friends. We once again head out on the town and with that bought more dancing, fun and lots and lots and photos!

Sunday was an early start but we headed out to the amazing Havana Harbor ready for our Congoola Cruise. This sail boat was in the original Sydney to Hobart race but unfortunately there was no sailing for us just the smell of motor fumes up front. That aside it was an absolute magical day out on the water. Our first stop was Tranquillity Island to see the turtles at the turtle sanctuary. These little guys are very cute. The sanctuary is run locally and takes in approx 300 turtles a year and tags and releases them when it’s time.

Back on the sail boat we sailed around to the other side of the island to our very own private beach. We spent the rest of the day here lounging in the sun, snorkelling (well I was snorkelling the girls were flailing around like fish on dry land), reading our books and enjoying this tranquil place. All too soon it was time to get back onboard and head for home. The sails did go up on the boat when we were heading for shore but this did nothing for our forward movement as we started to move backwards. Makes me wonder how those poor folk made it to Hobart!

So with some very patchy sun tan lines, funny stories and a lot of laughs and giggles the ladies short but sweet reunion came to an end. We plan not to wait another 6 years for the next one so watch this space for more world adventures with this country girl and her ladies!

How to survive Vanuatu 101

Forgive me friends for it’s been a long time since my last blog confession. I find there’s only so much I can write about how fun it is to live here and what a great time I’m having without you all sending me hate mail. To know and see what that looks like just check out my pics on my facebook page. As my world adventures continue I thought I’d write a survival guide to this great place so you can come and experience paradise for yourselves and be a little more prepared than I was when I first moved here. So here we go...

Driving

To set the scene for you all there are no road lines, speed signs, road name signs, seat belt rules, traffic lights or traffic police here in Port Vila. Well that’s probably not entirely true because there are police here you just don’t see them. And that’s not because they are sneaky it’s just because they’re not around. So basically what you’re left with are roundabouts, 2 lane streets turning into 3, 4 or maybe 5 lane streets (depending on the widths of the cars), crater size pot holes and intersections with no give way signs. This is what I like to simply refer to as organised chaos. Road rage simply doesn’t exist here. As soon as you start beeping at someone you think has wronged you that person will just kindly wave at you as if they are your best friend. The jokes on you because that is the way the Ni-Vanuatu greet each other to say hello as they drive by. And I wish to say this for the record;  Do not be scared when being a passenger in my car. I maintain that my driving skills have not deteriorated since moving here they have simply adapted to the Vila road experience!

Road registration

Car registrations expire on the 1^st January each year for everyone. The funny part is that you get until the end of Feb to renew it. This impending experience had got me quite nervous and I was anxious to fix a couple of things on my car. This resulted in my dad hunting down a head light cover from Japan. When a certain horrible nature disaster occurred all parts stopped arriving which means I’m still waiting for the head light today. So naturally I thought that I would be without a car come March 1^st or be driving an unregistered vehicle. I even had a fake receipt from a friend to prove the head light was ordered so they knew I intended to fix it. I was a bundle of nerves until our hotel driver came back from the road worthy test with the stamped certificate to say the car was in good condition. What a relief. I then drove to the transport office to pick up my 2011 sticker and really took notice of cars around me. Rust buckets, as we call them back home, zoomed around me like bees. It was then I realised the registration process isn’t as strict as it is in Oz which shouldn’t surprise me as nothing here is. Moral of the story – as long as your car runs and your lights work it will pass the road worthy test.

Emergency services

In my first week here I was told ‘if you ever need the Police just go and pick them up. If they don’t turn up it’s because their cars probably don’t work’. Enough said.

Food Shopping

Unless you want to pay $12 for a can of tuna that expired 4 months ago you’ve got to be very careful what you buy when shopping at the local supermarkets.

Recreational Activities

There is so much to do here it’s awesome. From scuba diving to parasailing to abseiling and buggy riding there is something here for everyone and I’m committed to ticking most things off the list. Or if you’re like some of my friends you’ll be content to find a bar close to the water’s edge and lounge around for half a day in the crystal clear water with a beverage in hand. If you’re trying to picture yourself doing that then good because just know that that’s where you’ll find me most Sunday afternoons.

I’ve now had two experiences on a 6 seat sessner plane. Once to Tanna Island and the other to Penecost Island. Considering there are approx 83 islands here I feel that I haven’t really seen a great deal. I’m 3 islands down and am planning a trip to a 4^th (Santo) later this year to dive the President Coolidge which is apparently one of the top dive sites around the world. These trips are a must to get the true Vanuatu experience. 

Health

I found it strange to be on a first name basis with the doctor here but when you go to the doctor more times in 12 months then you did in 10 years back home I suppose that’s bound to happen. During my ‘blood poisoned ankle’ phase I dragged my dad along for the Vanuatu private hospital experience. Needless to say his eyes bugged out of his head when he saw the hospital but he remained quiet and composed and held my hand while I got my tetanus booster. My advice is to not let your Aussie insurance lapse as you may need to head home for medical attention during your stay!

Vanuatu Government

In the past month alone we have had the Prime Minister and Cabinet Ministers change 3 times. There is some crazy rule that says as soon as a new Government is formed the Opposition can put in a vote of no confidence. Now both parties are in court trying to determine who can run the country. So with no one actually in Parliament my question to the universe is ‘What the hell is the President doing while this is going on?’

Drinking

WARNING! Watch out for this pastime. It’s deadly, lethal and a whole lot of fun. But join the wrong crowd and you’ll find yourself unable to remember the last dry day you had. This is an extremely popular way to pass the hours on days that end in ‘Y’ so my only advice is to take it slow and let your liver build up to the acceptance levels you know you’re going to be consuming on a daily basis in no time.   

So there you have it - my survival guide to Vanuatu!

English but not English??

Vanuatu is a haven for the expat market. It is a tax haven for some, a dive haven for others and for people like me it is a tropical paradise with a little bit of everything. The attraction of expats is a good thing. It brings new businesses to the country, allows us to experience a different way of life and it also brings diversity to a country that only recently (apparently) abolished cannibalism.

My good Aussie friends down at the local dive shop have dive instructors from all over the world come to Vanuatu to gain experience.  The guys I’ve met here so far have been Kiwi, American & English. Having experienced a few too many seaside drinking sessions with all of them, pretty early into the night you start asking yourself – How do 4 English speaking nationalities speak English but not understand each other? And no, it has nothing to do with the alcohol!

These nights always remind me of my USA travel experience.

I had wanted to travel to the US for sometime but the opportunity never came up. I either never had anyone to travel with, there were potential terrorist plots or I wasn’t in the right financial state to travel there. Finally 2010 was my year to do it. I planned and booked my trip trying to squeeze as many of the key places in as I could in my 3 weeks. And once again to the dismay of my parents, I happily set out on this journey alone.

I started my travels in LA. What a great place.  I could easily see myself living there for an extended period of time. Leaving the airport and arriving at the hotel was problem free and I was surprised to see as many Aussie and Kiwi’s at the hotel in Beverly Hills as I did. Step up to the reception desk to check-in and this is where things got interesting.

I offer my name and employee card and get asked for a charge card. A what? OK so reflecting on my 8 years reception experience I quickly realise I was asked for my credit card – standard procedure. It makes me wonder how the other poor souls from my part of the world knew what she was talking about. I receive my room key and ask the girl where the lift is. The shoe was on the other foot this time around as she looked at me puzzled for sometime before I jumped in with ‘elevator’.

So I drop my bags and jump on a tour bus to take me to the most cliché places of LA and I just loved them! Muscle beach, Kodak Theatre, Hollywood sign, Rodeo Drive and Walk of fame where there are more stars than the Milky Way. I teamed up with a lovely guy from somewhere in South America who was also travelling alone for this tour. English wasn’t his first language so our hilarious and sometimes confusing conversations will be left out of this blog due to fairness. The tour guide on the other hand has no excuse. For a nation that is its own continent, that flaunts the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge, that has one of the seven natural wonders of the world (Great Barrier Reef for any Americans reading this) and for a country that gave America Crocodile Dundee I would have never thought I would have to explain where my beautiful country is located in the world.

The rest of my time in LA was amazing and I seeked out the Aussies and Kiwis to converse with. I visited Disneyland, Universal Studios, was an audience member of Drew Carey’s ‘The Price is Right’ and travelled to San Diego to visit Sea World.  Before I knew it my time was up and I was on a jet plane headed for New York City.

NYC was great. I stayed on Manhattan Island in Soho and visited Ground Zero, the Empire State Building and took a cruise past the Statue of Liberty as the line to actually go there was 3-4 hours wait. I walked through Central Park, went to the museum of American History and  did a 3 day bus tour that took me to every corner of Manhattan and into Brooklyn. I also saw Chicago on Broadway!

My experience there was a mixed one. On one hand you are in the fashion capital of this part of the world which to some means something but nothing to me. You are seeing iconic streets such as Wall Street and Broadway and you can say ‘I’m in NYC!’ But on the other hand the streets are dirty and always packed of taxis beeping at each other and somehow making a 4 lane street into 6. People just push you around if you just want to look up and try and see the sky through the concrete jungle you’ve entered. And for the purpose of this blog in my experience I’d say 70% of people that I came in contact with didn’t speak English anyway. But throw in the ‘Jersey’ or ‘Queens’ accent and the last 30% spoke a language not recognisable anyway to my native tongue.

So then I was off to Washington DC. I visited the Lincoln memorial, the place where Lincoln was shot, Arlington cemetery and JFK’s grave. I never thought I would have the opportunity to educate Americans on their own history but here I was on a tour bus answering their questions about how and where Lincoln was killed. I walked past the FBI and IRS buildings and ventured into the National Archives, feeling like I was in one of the National Treasure movies, to view the Declaration of Independence. Here I met a lovely young family whose kids were mid-late teens. They wanted to know everything about Australia and seeing as the line to get in was about an hour long we had plenty of time to talk. We talked football, tennis and soccer. I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to explain cricket and eventually just gave up moving onto topics like how I don’t have kangaroos in my back yard nor do I have koalas in the trees in my garden. I must say DC was such an amazing experience full of history and culture. I’ll say this for the people of DC, they were easy to understand just watch out for the tourists!

So this brings me to my last stop – Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.  Here I met up with good friends of mine – Tonia and Derek. I met these two in my home town of Innisfail when they moved down under a while back. Poor Derek had to work so Tonia and I played the tourist role perfectly for my week long stay. We travelled to Hershey and went to the world famous Hershey chocolate factory, visited Armish country and went back in time while experiencing their way of life and took a day trip to Philly to see the Liberty Bell while also fitting in a duck tour through the city and the river.

Best of all I spent Easter with their families and enjoyed an American holiday experience. At brunch I found myself having to describe cricket (again!) so I quickly moved on from that and found myself talking about fast food and beer. I mentioned Maccas and it was as if I had said the worst swear word in history because of the silence that caused.  Mention XXXX and you’ll get blank stares that make you want to hide under the table. I was having a conversation with a family friend one day and when I had finished answering her question she said to me ‘just keep talking. I love your accent’. So strange to be the one with the accent. Finally they took me to one of the best restaurants in town and I loved it! – The Outback Steakhouse. Tonia’s grandpa convinced the waitress that I was part owner as I was from Australia. So sad to say it looked like she believed him! With Alice Springs Chicken, Gold Coast shrimp and Kookaburra Wings this place was a very small taste of home.

So back at the dive shop on the other side of the world we are continually learning and understanding each other while taking the piss wherever we can. I couldn’t resist a small list of examples -

·         Double fisting – Americans say this means holding & drinking from two drinks at one time. Hmmmm we don’t think so!

·         Drinking piss/On the piss – to our Northern Hemisphere friends this means drinking alcohol

·         Taking the piss – making fun of you

·         Tomato sauce – this might be called ketchup somewhere in the world but not down here

·         I reckon – Aussie for I think/I believe

And finally for my Kiwi friends here are some of my not so favourites – Chilly bin, jandals and All Blacks (couldn’t resist!)

Farewell 2010, Hello 2011!

What an interesting and fun time I’ve had over the last 2 months. I’ve been channelling my 18 year old party self, had the courage to fly in what I think is the world’s smallest airplane and stood no more than 100m from the fiery mouth of an active volcano. All in all I can honestly say that I bought in the New Year in typical Teneale style! Seeing 2010 come to a close was quite sad as I realised this means I will be yet another year older in a short 2 months but I am happy to say that I wrapped up the year with great friends and good times.

A fellow IHG colleague arrived in town at the end of November from Alice Springs to assist our Executive Chef for two months.  At first I didn’t have much to do with him but after I forwarded a guest feedback email to him we started chatting and eventually decided to head out for a drink. I can honestly say this was the turning point for my next two months as from this point forward my time was filled with parties, booze and a lot of workouts for some on a certain stripper pole in town.  

I had an orphan’s Christmas this year as I was not lucky enough to be able to travel home. Working in hospitality means that you have to work these holidays sometimes and over the years I have had my fair share of orphan’s Christmas’. But this year was the best Christmas I could have had without my family. We were holding a Christmas Luncheon at work so I offered to assist and run the lunch to ensure everything went smoothly. It was a typical hot and humid day but everyone had that festive cheer about them and it turned out to be a great luncheon. I finished an hour early and sat down with a family from Oz and shared a couple of wines and some great conversation.

Then I was off to spend the rest of my Christmas with my adopted Vanuatu family – the dive shop guys. My afternoon and night were filled with laughter, entertainment and countless conversations that cannot be put to paper. Needless to say I had an absolutely amazing time and a lot of fun.

The festivities didn’t stop there. Christmas week was spent at Voodoo (local nightclub) and preparing for NYE. We spent NYE at the dive shop and what a great idea that was. The dive shop is located right on the water front in town. From there we got the best fireworks display for free! It was nowhere near Sydney standards but it was just right for our little island party. NYE wouldn’t be complete without a nudie swim from someone at the party and we got our wish when one of the dive guests dropped his pants and jumped into the water. Entertaining it most definitely was!

Dragging ourselves out of bed the next day, the crew reconvened for New Years Day and the party continued. A small group of us spent the afternoon on a private island here at the resort I work at. We took food, booze and music and spent the day on the small beach. Everyone was shattered by 6pm so we all made it back to my place and we took up camp on whatever space we could find – bed, couch, chair it didn’t really matter. We were all but passed out when I get the call I had dreaded for the whole day. Work. The restaurant was busy so my General Manager called and asked me to go and assist. I was in no shape at the time but with a bit of makeup and a splash of water on my face I endured 2 and a half hours of work and then retreated home to find everyone passed out. It didn’t take me long to join them and 14 hours later we were up and moving again.

In the New Year my good friend ‘the chef’ and I took an overnight trip to Tanna Island to visit a live volcano. After surviving the 1 hour flight in an 8 seater plane we were taken to our ‘love shack’.  The word shack is probably an overstatement but there were two beds so we were happy. The drive to the volcano took 2 and a half hours and the terrain was horrible. I hit my head on the roof countless times and had to hang on for dear life as we drove through some very deep wash outs. We finally arrived at the top and wow what a view. I had the eerie sense that I was in one of the Jurassic Park movies. Beautiful tree covered mountains surrounded by crystal clear ocean. The volcano was making loud noises and spewing out a lot of ash, rocks and smoke. Eventually as the sun went down the real fireworks started with lava shooting out in every direction, getting close enough to us that you could hear it hitting the ground. There is no other word to describe this experience then ‘amazing’. I recommend that this adventure goes onto everyone’s bucket list.

Back on the main island, my friends and I took advantage of having some time off together and drove around the island, enjoyed time at the local saloon bar and watched the boys play cowboy on a life sized stuffed horse and had another ‘interesting’ Bislama lesson from a great friend from work.

I took the chef to the airport yesterday as it was time for him to return to reality and time for us to stop our partying ways. OK well let’s face it, that’s not going to happen so we’ll just aim to slow down. I’ve said it before, but it’s always sad to say goodbye to a great friend whether you’ve known them for 2 months or 2 years. Matty will be greatly missed but thank god for facebook and photos so the experiences and memories can be relived at any point in time.

I have so many exciting things coming up early this year I can barely contain myself. First is a trip back to the farm to see the family. Then I’m off on a girl’s weekend in Bris Vegas before jet setting back to my tropical paradise. Some of my family are coming to visit at the end of Feb to help me celebrate my birthday so watch out Vila there will be 6 crazy Queenslanders and 1 Mexican (Victorian) invading this heavenly place!

 2011 started with such a bang that I can foresee it only getting better from here!